Harry Potter and the Metabolic Disease

We’ve come to the part of the year where candy and sweets are everywhere, all the time. You pretty much won’t be able to escape cookies and pies and chocolate flavored toothpaste until after New Year’s Day at this point.


Chocolate flavored toothpaste? Seriously? That’s really a thing? God, we are truly a disgusting and gluttonous people.

You know who seems like they might appreciate that product even more than that creepy lady you work with who has seven types of candy in her desk at all times?

Harry Friggin’ Potter and Ronald Effing Weasley.

These guys.
These candy fiends.

Maybe it’s a British thing and I, as a clueless American, simply don’t get it. But man, these kids ate a lot of candy over the course of seven books.

Whether it was on the Hogwarts Express, at Honeydukes, or just when they needlessly showered one another with sugar at Christmas, Harry, Ron and everyone else at Hogwarts have a serious thing for the sweet stuff. You know you have a problem when you’re so desperate to get sugar into your system that you’re willing to eat candy that might be earwax flavored.

I loved candy as a kid, but never enough that my love for it became a plot device in the story of my life. I also feel like kids eventually outgrow the whole fatty/sweets thing at some point. Certainly even Harry and Co. won’t be shoehorning fats and sweets into everything they consume by the time they can drink, right?


I’m kind of afraid that everyone at Hogwarts might have diabetes, you guys.

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