Former CBS announcer Phil Simms always seemed a little overwhelmed by the idea of talking intelligently about football games. This wouldn’t have been a problem had it not been the literal definition of his job. Instead, Simms and the countless other broadcasters and ex-players who get paid thousands of dollars to talk about the football in real time have long portrayed the intricacies of NFL strategy as being not only unknowable to the average, dunderheaded football fan but also beyond the comprehension of pretty much anyone alive save the coaches actively involved in the game.
For a long time – and with only a few exceptions – this broadcaster incompetence has been the name of the NFL color commenting game. Whether it was due to stubborn network loyalty or the NFL vastly underestimating the cognitive abilities of its fans, Simms and his similarly bumbling colleagues never had to answer for their ineptitude. The NFL, a multi-billion dollar enterprise whose business model revolves around televised sporting events, seemed content with the clowns that they trotted out as announcers, refraining from upgrading the televised aspect of those all-important sporting events. In a nationally broadcast example of the Peter principle, Simms seemed likely to announce games until the end of time, infuriating fans all the while.
Then Tony Romo showed up in the booth and blew that shit up.
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