fiction and creative non-fiction from Brennan Quenneville
You can keep your slasher flicks and monster movies. When it's Halloween, all I want to watch are the seasonal episodes of network sitcoms. From Three Hole Punch Jim and Sexy Abraham Lincoln to the Slutty Pumpkin and Werewolf Tracy Jordan, Halloween TV has created some of the most memorable characters of the season—seriously, I [...]
J.R.R. Tolkien was not known for his comedic stylings as evidenced by the fact that his work has been referred to as "dry" and "a slog." And yet the esteemed philologist was not without humor or the ability to turn an amusing phrase. The Lord of the Rings will never be mistaken for a comedy [...]
A little after 4pm on Sunday the Cleveland Browns lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers, plunging them to the NFL's second-ever 0-16 finish. The loss would have been soul crushing if only there had been any souls left to crush in Cleveland. Bad as the Browns season finale was, though, it wasn't the worst of the [...]
On October 30th the San Francisco 49ers sent a 2nd round draft pick to the New England Patriots for Tom Brady's understudy, Jimmy Garoppolo. As San Francisco head coach Kyle Shanahan opted to take things slow with his potential franchise quarterback, Garappolo didn't start a game until December 3rd but since then, well, let's just [...]
In a feature literally named after the NFL's penchant for constant, unyielding incompetence, you might've guessed that today we'd be honoring (well maybe not honoring, exactly) the League itself again. And yet, even as both the Raiders and Steelers lost their games due to controversial-but-true-to-the-rulebook verdicts from their referees, there's only one place truly deserving [...]
When a yellow flag landed it was immediately clear what the call was going to be. It was also immediately clear that it was going to be the wrong call. https://twitter.com/thelionswire/status/939927384605777920 Detroit Lions defensive back Quandre Diggs had just leveled Tampa Bay's O.J. Howard, causing a fumble that was recovered by Detroit's Glover Quin. As [...]
Every Monday I play beer league hockey with a bunch of physically underwhelming and tactically inept schlubs like myself. In our darker moments, when our utter lack of coaching and ability rears its ugly, toothless head our defensive schemes devolve into little more than puck-chasing. As defensive strategies go, this one tends to be disastrous. [...]
After Tyrod Taylor was his predictably solid self during Buffalo's 16-10 defeat of Kansas City on Sunday, I was tempted to give this week's Incompetence Trophy to Bills coach Sean McDermott for the second consecutive week because, again, what the hell was he doing starting Nathan Peterman in an NFL game? But McDermott at least [...]
Despite an off-season filled with moves that seemed to indicate that Buffalo's new front office was punting on the present in the hopes of building a better future, the Bills started this year with a surprising 5-2 record. Even after a puzzling loss to the Jets and an absolute thrashing at the hands of the [...]
Thanksgiving isn't until next week but it already feels like Christmas because this Browns season is the gift that keeps on giving. (Keep in mind that I write about NFL incompetence on a weekly basis. For Cleveland fans this season has been a lump of coal dropped in a pile of shit.) After a deadline-day [...]
Songs & Stories 